been feeling weird these days..so i nv updated as often..sighs...
well..i finally know y`
all bcos i finally got enlighten after watch a tv show..
Oh..wat an ironY..
anyway, the shows name is shu jian en chou lu..
on chan 8...
there was these part in the show..towards the end of the 2 hr special yesterday.

the emperor..QianlOng.was toking to his monther..
the Empress Dowager`..he told her a story..
or another emperor..hu wan totally under the control of his mother..hu has over the 30 odds yrs eroded all thiS will power..
stripped him bare of all his emotion..his feelings...
he feels like a living zombiE~..after he has brutely wasted thosound strong of man in dealing in the revolt...
sob...

guess a lot of things round my life these 2 weeks..
faced ups, faced downs...
these stuffs have already begun to work in eroding me...
slowing makeing me feel emotionless..
redering me helpless in future downs..
i guess, i;m diff now...

i feel cold to everythinG....totally cold...
inert to everytihng in life.`....

anyway..i got a new phone n new line..shall keep u ppl inform..
cya..