> > Hubby: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office.
Why?
> > Wife: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look
at your
> > picture and the problem disappears.
> > Hubby: You see? That's how great I am to you!
> > Wife: Yes, I look at your picture and say to myself, "What
other
problems
> > can there be greater than this one "?
> >
> > +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> > Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries,
troubles
and
> > lighten your burden.
> > Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any
worries or
> > troubles.
> > Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
> >
> > +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> > Wife to Husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this
time of
the
> > night?"
> > Husband to Wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear."
> > Wife to Husband: "What? At 2 a.m?!"
> > Husband to Wife: "Yes, We used night clubs."
> >
> > +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> > A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me
if my
> > father
> > hadn't left me a fortune?"
> > Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you-NO
MATTER WHO
> > LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"
> >
> > +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> > Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."
> > Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his
parents."
> >
> > +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> > "How was your blind date?" a college student asked her
roommate.
> > "Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932
Rolls
> Royce."
> > Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?"
> > "He is the original owner."
> >
> > +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> > A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans".
> > "My father grows beans," said one student.
> > "My father cooks beans," said another.
> > Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."
> >
> > +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> > Teacher: Let's take the example of the busy ant. He is busy
all the
time,
> > works all day and every day. Then what happens?
> > Little Johnny: He gets stepped on.
> >
> > +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
> > Interviewer: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire
to ?"
> > Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
> > Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you
before you
> > married her?"
> > Millionaire: "A Billionaire".